The Mad Hater (Sorry Lewis Carroll)
I’ve heard all too often from fellow actors (and have experienced myself) that there are people in your life you have considered friends…until you became successful in your craft. These people changed from “friend” to the latest word du jour…“hater”…almost overnight. It happens. These people are what former HBO Casting Director, Amy Jo Berman (see link below) refers to as “Dream Stealers” or “Energy Vampires.” If this has happened to you, read on.
Many of us have worked hard through the years to train in our craft. We have worked free just to build our resume. We have spent considerable time and money in training. We understand rejection after having driven many miles to many auditions, only to hear nothing, except for that rare call back. In the beginning, our experience on a film set is one of the passing pedestrian on the street, or the diner in a restaurant. After some time, however, things start happening and we see some success.
When success is reached, it’s only natural to want to share it with others. The problem is, how do you share your success…your big break…without appearing like a narcissist…a boaster…a braggadocios character? When someone shares that they just received their college degree, we know what it took to get that degree. We know a person has worked to get that job promotion. However, when we finally get that big break, people have no clue what it took to get there, and some assume it was just dumb luck. There is a way to share your success without sounding like a braggart.
When you get that big break and want to share it with others, mention what it took to get there. You can tell them that after years of training, lots of little parts, and many auditions, you finally got that great role. When we talk about the hard work it took to get success, most people will cheer your success and support you…most, but not all.
Unfortunately, there will still be the dream stealers…the energy vampires who are jealous of your success. There will be people who will try to put you down and make you feel “less than.” These are people who feel bad about themselves and the only way they can build themselves up is to put you down. You also may experience those who were once friends and have stopped communicating with you. You may want to consider it's time to just walk away from these people. For me, walking away from the haters was the best thing I could do.
For the people who are truly happy for your success, treat them like gold! I have many of those people in my life!
We know what it took to get where we are.
Check out the link below.